The Dark Side of Game Testing

     Video game testing is the kind of job most people automatically assume is wonderful. Getting paid to deathmatch, teabag co-workers, and overdose on free caffeinated drinks for at least eight hours a day sounds like a raucous good time, many might say. People seem to forget that game testing is still a job and, like any job, it comes with its fair share of mind-numbing objectives and office drama. Sure, game testing is chest-slappingly easy and arguably more fun than a typical job, but don't convince yourself that you'll love it until you've tried it.

     In fact, as a lifelong gamer, I've come to fucking hate game testing. Having worked for a few different companies on more than 10 titles (mostly uncredited), it's left me with a distaste for monotony and pure, boiling hatred for inefficient policy. Many great things about game testing exist, but they come with a price that, for irritable people like me, far outweighs the benefits. So, in the spirit of the holidays, here are my top reasons working as a game tester suckles moist cat balls.

The Ungodly Repetition is Ungodly.

     It should come as no surprise that testing is an extremely repetitive task; you're not going to find serious issues without incessantly probing for them in ways only slightly less different than the last one you tried. Be ready to be pushed to the extremes of your mental and sometimes even physical fortitude, presuming that you got into game testing partially because you're fortitude isn't exceptional.