Writing Samples

These three posts are writing samples.

The Dark Side of Game Testing

     Video game testing is the kind of job most people automatically assume is wonderful. Getting paid to deathmatch, teabag co-workers, and overdose on free caffeinated drinks for at least eight hours a day sounds like a raucous good time, many might say. People seem to forget that game testing is still a job and, like any job, it comes with its fair share of mind-numbing objectives and office drama. Sure, game testing is chest-slappingly easy and arguably more fun than a typical job, but don't convince yourself that you'll love it until you've tried it.

     In fact, as a lifelong gamer, I've come to fucking hate game testing. Having worked for a few different companies on more than 10 titles (mostly uncredited), it's left me with a distaste for monotony and pure, boiling hatred for inefficient policy. Many great things about game testing exist, but they come with a price that, for irritable people like me, far outweighs the benefits. So, in the spirit of the holidays, here are my top reasons working as a game tester suckles moist cat balls.

The Ungodly Repetition is Ungodly.

     It should come as no surprise that testing is an extremely repetitive task; you're not going to find serious issues without incessantly probing for them in ways only slightly less different than the last one you tried. Be ready to be pushed to the extremes of your mental and sometimes even physical fortitude, presuming that you got into game testing partially because you're fortitude isn't exceptional.

My 9 Favorite Survivor Mistakes

Clearly taking my love for Left 4 Dead a bit too far, I decided to write about some of the mistakes that entertain me the most.
-----

1) Failing to Heal Each Other:

In a survival situation, our instincts are likely to best benefit our own interests, so I can see why this is such a common mistake. But by not healing your teammates, you inhibit your own ability to stay alive. For each person lost, a significant portion of the odds in one's favor are forfeited, and with the Infected typically focusing on the weakest enemies, it will not be long before they overcome you. I also take special pleasure in watching Survivors wait for their limping comrades when they could be healing them, which gives me more time to spawn and make matters worse.

2) Shooting When You Should Be Swinging:

As a Survivor you will constantly be pressed to quickly decide between punching and shooting to free a captured ally, yet people often seem choose the one that takes the longest to be effective. Each strike brings your team one step closer to losing and they add up quickly, so you want to release allies as soon as possible. I offer this as a general rule of thumb; always be running towards captured teammates while shooting, and once you reach them, melee to save them. If you are stationary, you get two shots before you must resort to punching. I chose two because you do not want anyone to die while watching you miss more than two potentially point blank shots...

Left 4 Dead review

I have been playing Left 4 Dead on the PC almost incessantly, so I decided to up and write a review about it. Posted to GameFAQs.com, it is ludicrously long at over 3,500 words so I am sure you can see for yourself that I got a little carried away. But, if you were on the fence about buying it, I think I covered most of the bases and this article will likely help swing your vote. I should have left out the gameplay tips and some other things, but hey, mistakes are part of getting better .

Here is a link, as I feel it would have cluttered this page, which does not need any help being ugly:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/review/R130572.html